Wordless Wednesday; My how we've grown!

I've been slacking with the pictures again.  I pulled these which were taken one year ago today from the archives for your viewing pleasure.  Have a happy Wednesday!



Uebinger Buzz

Steph and Greg with the boys

I am the unofficial bloggerazzi for the Uebinger clan.  I was not appointed nor was I voted in.  I have three younger brothers so when my life is less than blog-worthy, they usually have something going on to write about.  Today is one of those days.

Greg and Stephanie Uebinger are having a baby! 

Isn't this exciting news?!?

When talking about pregnancies I can't help but think of when I was pregnant with the boys.  I received a lot of advice and heard my share of labor and delivery (horror) stories.  My only advice for them is trust their instincts.  They will be amazing parents and I can't wait to have another niece of nephew to dote on.

Any advice for the expectant couple?  I'll be sure to pass it along as well as the warm wishes.



Pushy little things

We all need a little push now and then.

I'm not sure what happened on Monday; must not have been anything too exciting.  Boring is always just fine with me.  Ben had preschool from 9 to 1 then speech therapy from 1:30 to 2.  I started experiencing something that evening I have never felt before...panic attacks.

Tuesday I went to work from 2pm to 10 pm,  still feeling anxious, but it subsided after I was totally submerged in verifying prescriptions.

My mom arrived Wednesday afternoon and has been staying with us.  The boys are so excited to have her here.  Their Halloween costumes came in the mail the same day.  It was like Christmas at the Guthrie's!

Jeremy had suggested that I meet with a counselor to help deal with not only the feelings of grief that come over me in waves but also the flashbacks of that tragic evening and the anxiety that I was feeling.  I had my first mental health meeting Wednesday evening.  Even though I was totally out of my comfort zone, it went well- my counselor pretty much told me what I was dealing with was normal.  The only head shrinking that occurred was when she asked about my birth order.  Apparently first born are more likely to want to make everything better for those around them.  I go back next week for a follow up.

After dropping Ben off at preschool Thursday, Owen and I took Mom to the Legends in West Kansas City for a little retail therapy.  The weather was perfect and we had a wonderful time.  After lunch we picked up the preschooler for a fun afternoon playing outside.  Jeremy and I took advantage of having Grandma around and went into the city for dinner at La Bodega with our friends Joe and Andy.

Friday Ben took my Mom to Grandparents day at preschool.  He was very proud to have his Grandma there with him and she loved seeing his classroom and all of his playmates. During nap time, I snuck off to meet with my rheumatologist to follow up on my treatment options.

Since all my my symptoms are subjective (joint pain, stiffness and fatigue), and there has not been any real objective data for him to go on, he is changing the game plan.  The only oddity on my labs was that I tested positive for HLA-B27 antigen with leads Dr. K to think that I might not be dealing with Rheumatoid Arthritis but instead Psoriatic Arthritis.  He has added sulfasalazine and prednisone to my regimen with hopes that I have a more positive response to the therapy.  I'm keeping my finger's crossed (not really - it kind of hurts) that I start feeling better.  



Ummm, I didn't forget....

Today is Stephanie's Birthday!!!!   I'd sing but I don't want to put anyone through that; Especially in her fragile....aka one year older... condition.  Love ya like a sista! 



Superheroes to the rescue!

My tiny superheroes with my mom, who is known to have super powers as well.



Wordless Wednesday; Play with me

Love those tip toes...



Patience

My boys get their lack of patience honest.  I am constantly multitasking because I can't stand the thought of being idle.  Even now, while waiting for pictures to load, another browser was open so I could check my email and the latest facebook updates.

The pictures of the boys were taken before and seem like a lifetime ago.   The events of last week are all very fresh in my mind and take place after.  After the world was no longer the same due to the realization that our time together is unknown, limited and so fragile.

I'm doing what I expect anyone who has lost a friend would do.  I squeeze Jeremy and the boys a little tighter and tell them I love them more often.  I check on Carolyn and the kids a few times a day. (I've made her promise if she gets sick of seeing me pop in the front door to not be bashful and just kick me out.)  I remember telling the priest last Saturday night that I just didn't know what to say.  Turns out that I don't have to say a lot.  She talks about what she is feeling at the moment while I listen, offer support and another hug.

Ben is still understandably asking questions every now and then.  When we went to the visitation on Wednesday I told him that we were going to pray for Mister Curt.  He asked if we were going to Heaven.  When we went to the funeral the following afternoon, he wondered if Gary, our neighbors dog who passed away in the spring, would be in the dog room in Heaven. 

Some days have been easier than others and there are still times when it seems nothing will ever take away the pain.  A friend has reminded me to be patient with myself and the process of healing.  I'm going to try to take her advice as things slowly return to a sense of a new normal.

I have read the book "No One Cries the Wrong Way: Seeing God Through Tears",written by Father Joe Kempf, our priest from O'Fallon MO.  It has helped to restore my faith which was admittedly shaken.  I think it would be impossible to get through something like this without it.

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."- Thornton Wilder



Time of Grieving

Thank you for all of the messages that have been sent regarding our dear friend and neighbor, Curt. For those of you that have not heard, Curt passed away on Saturday, September 12. He was involved in an accident on an ATV.  We had been invited to the Hooper's for an evening to relax, catch up on the events of the week and meet his best friend of 30 years, Tripp.

Jeremy had gone home earlier in the evening with Owen.  He had spent the day golfing with Curt and Tripp and had a headache from being out in the sun.

Curt, Tripp and our neighbor Shawn were in an ATV, similiar to a golf cart,  when it tipped over in a turn. Curt either fell out or was thrown out and the ATV came to rest on him. He died instantly and we believe he experienced no pain or suffering.  

The event happened in our cul-de-sac.  In a matter of minutes two families were forever shattered.  My close friend lost her husband of 15 years.   Their children lost their father.  Our friend Shawn is struggling with the guilt associated with being the driver.

He is survived by his wife Carolyn, son Garrett (13), daughter Olivia(11), his mom, stepfather, two sisters and a large extended group of family and friends.

 

When I think of Curt, I try not to see the events of that horrific evening, but instead focus on his bright beaming smile which was usually accompanied by a mischievous glint in his eye.  He was an amazing man.  He was a hard worker, but his family was his pride and joy. 

 

Ben had a wonderful bond with Curt.  During imaginary play time, he would ask me who I wanted to be and I'd say something silly like Mrs. Wigglebottom.  When I asked who he was, he said "I'm Curt Hooper".  Most mornings Curt was leaving for work at the same time we were leaving for preschool.  Ben would insist that I roll down his window so he could say "Hi, Mister Curt!".

 

Ben was at the Hooper's with me at the time of the accident.  By the grace of God, the kids remained inside the house while we were coordinating with the police and paramedics.  The following morning, Ben climbed into bed with me and asked what had happened to that animal.  In his mind he had hoped that it wasn't a person that was hurt.  I had to tell him that it wasn't an animal.  He then asked if it was Garrett and Olivia's Daddy.  I told him yes then tried to explain simply to a three year old that Curt was OK now. He was in heaven with God.  His following words have been with me ever since. 

 

"Why did Curt have to die?  He was my Buddy."



Wordless Wednesday; I've got nothing

Seriously,  I don't have any pictures of the rugrats that I haven't already shared; which it really seems that I have always had a knack for.  Just stay away from the brownies...they're mine.



My Future Sister in Law

It's official and I couldn't be happier for the two of them!

My youngest brother, John, popped the big question to Emily over the weekend.  I'm so glad that Auntie Em said "yes".  She's been a part of the family for almost three years already but now they get to throw around the fancy "fiance" word.

I love weddings; I wonder if she's already bought her first "Bride's" magazine? 



Night Night

Jeremy and I went for it and set up the toddler bed in Owen's room last night.  If you thought I would be a little sad to see the crib go into storage, you'd be right.

Ben made his way into Owen's room first. Then made a mad dash back into his room, came back into Owen's room screaming and crying because we took the side rail from his bed to put on the toddler bed. Ben is not a fan of change. Nothing new comes in to his room and nothing comes out.

I tried to reason with him. "Mommy and Daddy put that rail on your bed when you were little like Owen so you wouldn't fall out in the middle of the night. Now that you are SO big, we don't have to worry about it. Wouldn't it be sad if Owen fell out of his new bed and got hurt?"

It turns out once again;there is no reasoning with a three year old.

None.

He continued screaming and crying while trying to take the rail off of the bed. Jeremy saw the look of exasperation on my face and convinced Ben into going back into his room to talk.

I continued to get Owen ready for bed and brought him into Ben's room to say goodnight to Daddy and big brother. I was amazed at the transformation Ben had gone through. The tears were gone and in their place was a huge smile.  He gave Owen a hug and told him that he was proud of him for getting to sleep in a big boy bed. The display of affection was so sweet it brought a tear to my eye. I didn't know what was said; but mouthed the words "thank you" to Jeremy as I gave my big boy a huge hug.

Owen picked out The Very Hungry Caterpillar for his bedtime story and I rocked him a few times before he said he was ready to go night-night. I placed him on his bed, put the music box from his mobile over the rail, told him I loved him then closed the door behind me. No more than two seconds later he was at the door calling "Ma Ma".

I rocked him for another minute then tried again. He might have lasted ten seconds this time before he was at the door, crying. This repeated over and over again until I walked him over to the bed without picking him up, patted his back for a few seconds. He stayed in bed!!!! Score one for mom. It took about half an hour longer than usual, but he was snug in his bed the rest of the night.

This morning as I was coming downstairs with the boys Ben asked if he could get the Backyardigans airplane movie today. When I reminded him that we had decided to wait until his birthday before getting any new movies he burst the bubble.

"But Daddy said that I could get anything I wanted from the store today."

When all reasoning fails bribery apparently works like a charm. I wonder if Jeremy can "talk" Owen into staying in bed during nap time.



Happy Birthday to You!

While the boys were eating their breakfast this morning, I asked Ben if he knew who had birthdays today.  When I told him that it was Aunt Kelly and Mason he said excitedly "Our two best friends!".  He couldn't wait to call them to sing the birthday song.

Have a wonderful day!  We love you guys!!!!



No more crib?

Last weekend Ryan and Julie sent us home with my niece and nephew's crib.  When converted, it becomes a toddler bed.  Our crib converts into wooden slats that will be stored away until it can be returned to Grammy Guthrie.

I'm not sure where the time has gone with my little Owen. I rember placing him into the the crib the first time thinking that he just looked so tiny. Now when I go into his room he has one leg over the rail. As soon as he see's me coming he starts bouncing up and down.

In my head I know that he will transition well.  He is 22 months old and has always been pretty receptive to change. My heart on the other hand wants to keep my baby in that crib until he is 22 years old.

Since we have a three day weekend, I suppose we'll go ahead and give it a go.  Will he be like his brother and stay in bed until we come get him out or will he be up and down all night long enjoying his new found freedom?  Let's just hope that it's an easy night...



Keep them coming

Many of you have been keeping my sister in law, Julie, in your thoughts and prayers. She has been battling Hodgkin's Lymphoma and went through a stem cell transplant at Barnes-Jewish Hospital earlier in the summer.

Good news was received in the form of a clear PET scan a few months back which was a sigh of relief and was thought to be the light at the end of the tunnel. A recent follow up PET scan revealed that tumors have quickly returned. They are still in the same area, the chest wall, which is promising since they have not spread. She has met with a radiologist along with her oncologist and a new plan of action is underway.

She had chemo a couple of weeks ago with another round scheduled in two weeks. A month later she will undergo another stem cell transplant, this time with cells donated from her twin sister, Jenny. During this inpatient procedure, she will receive full body radiation along with localized radiation at the site of the tumors.

Even though this is a huge blow, she has maintained her steadfast resolve to make it over this hurdle. That girl is one tough cookie. Our conversations usually leave me laughing as she has kept her sense of humor.  I know that it's not easy for her.  I can't imagine what she must be feeling deep down-trying to be strong for all of us. 

I do however know what I felt when Ryan told me the news a few weeks ago-disbelief, hurt, and anger.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they have to go through this again...so soon.  My heart hurt that they have to struggle with all the questions, the "what ifs?" and "what nows?". 

I was so mad that she has to endure it all again- the pain, discomfort, and inconvenience -without knowing the outcome.  That she has to take more time away from her family and not feel like herself when she is with them.  That her kids have to be without their mom while she is undergoing treatments and transplants.  That people complain about petty things while she is engaged in a battle for her life.

This being said, all I can do is pray and be thankful for what has been given.  I pray that the chemo, radiation and stem cell transplant get rid of the tumors once and for all.  That Julie remains strong and positive.  That the emotional stress is not too much for their family to bear.  I remain thankful that she has a wonderful medical team in place.  That the tumors have not spread.  That they have an amazing support system to help them through this.

Ryan and Julie are extremely appreciative of all the support that they have received. A fund was set up in the spring by a friend that allowed them to purchase a laptop computer, which she used as a lifeline to the outside world during her last hospitalization. Dear aunts and friends have made meals for their family and their mailbox has been flooded with cards of well wishes and encouragement-all of which have helped them up to this point.  Please continue to keep their family in your thoughts and prayers for the next few months.



Fair Weather Friends

After blowing the budget on new tires for the Pilot(apparently 40,000 mile tires rarely make it to 80,000 so I suppose we got our money out of the first set), the remainder of Thursday was spent in the car making our way to Grandma Guthrie's. Owen was done somewhere between Decatur and Champaign on I-72 but regained his composure with a fresh diaper and a quick change into his jammies. The boys fell asleep about thirty minutes before we arrived but were excited to see Grammy and her dog, Sammy.

During our visit Jeremy and I enjoyed sleeping in, waking to a fresh pot of coffee, taking naps and a bonus shopping trip by ourselves. I decided that it was time for a pair of jeans that fit without me having to do squats to stretch them out when they come out of the laundry.

As a pick-me-up after finding two pairs of jeans at the mall in Orland Park in a size that was formerly reserved for my third trimester of pregnancy, we stopped by Portillo's for an afternoon snack. My big girl pants felt pretty darn cozy as I inhaled that hot dog in record time.

The Will County Fair was in full swing on Saturday so we packed up the five boys and hit the fairway. When asked at the concession stand if they were all mine, I had the words "oh, gawd no" out in record time. We took our eleven year old nephew, Spencer, and his ten year old twin friends with us. Ben was convinced that one was a real boy and the other had to be a robot.

The kids had a ball and were out of ride tickets before we knew it. After funnel cakes and lemonade it was time to go, but not before stocking up on my fair fave, saltwater taffy. I was able to convince Spencer to try it last year and he was on a mission to get his buddies to love it as much as we do. It didn't take much prodding, before long we had wrappers scattered all over the car. When I asked Ben if he liked hanging out with Spencer's friends he replied, "Mom, they're my friends too". What was I thinking?

The rest of the family stopped by Saturday evening for dinner and dessert. It was great getting to catch up with all of them. Jeremy's nieces are in their early twenties and it is always fun to hear about their latest adventures-which surprisingly have nothing to do with wiping runny noses and changing diapers.

We left on Sunday and made a pit stop for lunch at Ryan and Julie's, not an actual restaurant, but my brother and his wife's house. They had a wonderful spread and the cleanest bathroom that we used the entire time on the road. An added bonus was that the boys got to play with Hannah and Wade and see my parents who were there as well.

The rest of the trip was a blur and before we knew it we were back home to reality. I had to wake up with the boys on Monday, make my own coffee and do the laundry myself. I miss Grammy...